When they get involved in a romantic relationship with a woman, what kind of expectations do men truly have? According to a number of men who are dissatisfied with their experiences, the standards are quite high. Some men believe that women need to take more initiative in relationships in this day and age. But how reasonable or even fair are all of these expectations? In the interest of playing devil’s advocate, I’d like to call into question a number of the most prevalent misconceptions that men have about their girlfriends and wives.
To begin, there is the expectation that she should not be attractive. This is a very important point. These days, it’s common for guys to expect their girlfriend to always look like a supermodel. Every time a woman steps out in public, they anticipate that she will be immaculate, well-groomed, and stylish. However, is that even possible? In no way! Even women have bad hair days and days when they just want to relax. It is unreasonable and unfair of you to anticipate that she will always look like a model in a magazine.
The second part of the expectation is that she will take full responsibility for the house and the children. Because they perceive it to be “woman’s work,” a significant number of men shirk their responsibilities in the home and with the upbringing of their children. However, it takes a village to bring up children and keep a house in order. Each partner ought to make a contribution. Nobody should have to shoulder the entire load while everyone else just coasts along. Therefore, it is imperative that men dispel the notion that women are solely responsible for domestic responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, and raising children. Completely unjustified.
Some men also have the mistaken expectation that the woman will cover all of the costs. These men think of the woman as a “sugar mama” who will pay for everything from dates to vacations to groceries while making very little contribution to the relationship. But being in a relationship means splitting bills and being accountable for shared expenses. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and men have no right to expect women to empty their bank accounts in order to take care of them.
There is also the expectation that she will engage in intimate behavior when it is requested of her. A significant number of women are forced to deal with guys who expect sex whenever they want it, even if the woman does not feel like having it at the time. However, consent is a two-way street. When a woman says “no,” men need to comprehend and respect her decision. They have no right to believe that they are entitled to her body unless she gives them her enthusiastic permission.
Last but not least, a good number of guys have the expectation that their partner will provide them with an endless supply of validation and praise. They want her to constantly bolster their egos and tell them how wonderful they are, and they want her to do this for them. But a relationship is a partnership between two people on an equal footing. Unhealthy demands for validation are lacking in self-sufficiency. She’s not your therapist; she’s your business partner!
As can be seen, many of the expectations that men have for women are either completely unattainable or constitute an unfair burden to place on them. This results in unhappy relationships in which the woman feels as though she is being used and is not appreciated. However, this outcome is not at all inevitable.
The following are some additional expectations that are more realistic for your partner:
- Maintain an equal weight both at home and with the children. Don’t put all the responsibility on her shoulders.
- Divide the costs in an equitable manner that is proportional to the income. Don’t count on her picking up the tab for your antics.
- Respect both her consent and the physical boundaries she sets. Try not to force a close relationship.
- Be supportive of one another emotionally and compliment one another. Don’t insist on having your ego stroked all the time.
- Make peace with your flaws. Do not place impossible expectations on her in terms of her physical appearance.
- Please give each other the same amount of free time. Don’t put all of her time and effort into satisfying your demands.
- Recognize and value each other’s contributions, no matter how large or small. Do not discount the significance of her efforts.
Take a look at how much more realistic those expectations are. It alters the dynamic into a partnership where both parties equally share love and respect for one another. That is the kind of partnership that both men and women, on both sides, are deserving of.
So, guys, take a good, hard look at the expectations you have for your relationships. Get rid of any that are unreasonable or unfair. Don’t believe the stereotypes about men who are tough. Moving forward, you should think of your relationship as an equal and collaborative effort between the two of you. You’re going to be astounded by how much happier you and your partner will be!